Wednesday, July 13

Miss(ing) Manners

I have a confession to make: I still haven't sent out our wedding thank-you notes for gifts that we received on or after our wedding day (I sent all of them out for gifts received early). And tomorrow our marriage will officially be two months old. Dude.

Most of them are written ... but I'm struggling to finish the last 15 or so. Those that are written are in envelopes with the recipients names, but no addresses yet ... because I'm finding it so difficult to just find our master list of addresses and begin transcribing them. Why can't I just go home from work, sit down at our dining room table and knock them all out in one go?

The simple truth is that I. don't. know. I try to make each note warm and personal, to convey how much we love the people who attended our wedding and who generously gifted us. Our guests were wonderful, and they gave thoughful gifts that we really, truly appreciate. So why am I feeling exhausted just thinking about finishing these thank yous?

I normally try to send off thank you notes promptly, but I want to send these all off in one batch so some people don't receive theirs earlier than others, and for whatever reason the task of finishing them keeps dragging on and on and on ... and I'm starting to think that people might be judging me a teensy bit (thanks Mom!) I don't blame them.

Ironically, one of the ways I've recently passed the time that should have been spent writing these notes is by reading Judith Martin's "Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior." It's funny and smart and excellent and horrifying, and I highly recommend it. I used to think I was a polite person, but oh heavens do I have a long way to go.

There wasn't a specific timetable laid out for wedding thank you notes to be sent in her book (her basic message for any thank you note was get it out as soon as possible, which is quite right and the opposite of what I feel I've managed to do here). But I hopped on Google to ease my guilty conscience to find out what is standard for weddings, and the venerable Emily Post Institute let me know that I'm still in the clear, for awhile at least. My goal is to finish and send them out this Saturday, slightly over the two month anniversary mark.

If only I could include a little clipping from Emily Post saying that these thank you notes are still valid and polite, that I'm not a bad bride. Somehow I think she would not approve of that particular gesture, plus it would take more time and thus delay the sending even further. So I'm sending this thought out to the internet for consideration.

Am I being paranoid? I never gave a thought before to when I received a thank you note for a wedding gift, so maybe no one has noticed ('til now). Am I alone here? Did anyone else have trouble sending off their thank you notes super promptly? Are you judging me now? Be honest :)

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