Monday, November 14

Love and Marriage: Reflections of a Child Bride

In honor of marking six months since our wedding today, I'd like to take a moment to gush on and on about marriage. And I will try my hardest to stay away from the topic of Kim Kardashian's, because I think we've all had enough of her, don't you?

Like most 20-somethings, the past few years have been, to put it lightly, eventful for me.

At 20, I transferred colleges, signed a lease on my first apartment, met and fell in love with Kyle, and broke my first and only bone (oh, the memories). At 21, I worked two internships and fell in love again, this time with wine (it wasn't the most productive year). At 22, I got engaged, got a job offer, and graduated college. At 23, I got married.

I don't care if it's a cliche -- this was the best day of my life.

I've been busy! Those were all big events. Some bigger than others, of course (graduation > wine).

But getting married is the biggest, because that basically defines the rest of your life. It influences where you live and how you live. It changes what families you spend your holidays with and who you spend your nights beside. It determines half of the genes of your future children (the other half is all your responsibility). This person will see you at your absolute worst, physically and emotionally. You will never make a major decision again -- car purchase, home purchase, bottle of wine purchase -- without considering the opinion of someone else.

That's either a scary thing, or a really comforting thing. I find it really comforting.

He's not even looking at the exit sign above his head!

And so I guess this marriage post is really about young marriage, and I mean that in both senses: the age you are when you wed and the brevity of your union. I think at this point I've moved out of the very young classification -- 24 is not that young -- but I'm not what you would call "seasoned."

I didn't plan to get married young. If you would have told me at 19 that I was about to meet my future husband and that we'd be married in four years, before I turned 24, I would have thought you were all kinds of crazy. Sometimes people are a little surprised to learn you're a wife at age 23, and I don't blame them. 23 and married sounds a little bit like I should be churning butter out in Amish country, no? 

Based on my vast six months of experience, I would say young marriage certainly isn't right for everyone. But because I happened to find a great partner early on, it certainly is right for me. I seem to be missing the "find myself" urge that so many people have. I found myself years ago, sitting in an armchair and reading Harry Potter and thinking it would be great to find a guy happy to stay in with me (okay, I didn't dream about asking him to turn down the volume on his video game, but Kyle didn't dream about ending up with a huge nerd, so sometimes we surprise ourselves).

I wanted someone to make me laugh, to accept me and all my quirks and flaws, to be supportive and trustworthy. Someone I could talk politics and religion and sports with, even if we had differences (oh, Dallas Cowboys, why must you plague me?). Someone who liked to eat and watch movies. Someone who loved dogs. Tall and handsome didn't hurt either, of course. I really lucked out.

Most importantly, I wanted someone with those traits, but I certainly didn't need someone. I was perfectly happy reading in the armchair on my own. Life as a single girl was great, and I obviously don't mean that in the crazy-nights-out-and-dating-so-many-men way. I mean that in the happy-on-my-own way. Harry Potter and I were quite content together, thank you very much. I was not looking for a boyfriend when I ran into Kyle at work. I'm pretty certain he wasn't looking for a girlfriend either. We just sort of stumbled into each other, and while no relationship is without a few bumps, we really, really make each other happy.

You are really, really, really, really ridiculously good looking.

I've heard the tenet "marriage is hard work," and I'm sure that's true at one point or another in every union. But I hope when people say that they don't mean their marriages are hard work every day. I know we're still in the honeymoon stage, but it doesn't feel like hard work. It doesn't feel like work, period. It feels like fun. I can confidently say that these past six months have been the most fun of my life.

I never felt "too young" to get married. I was young, sure. But too young? No.

Still... 24 and married sounds a lot less Warren Jeffs than 23 and married, if you know what I mean.

That's the creepiest photo I've ever posted on here. Sorry!

Here's to leaving my child bride days behind me! Kyle, I hope you still love me now that I'm a grown-up. And I hope we stay in the honeymoon stage for the next 6 months, 6 years, 60 years... you know.

Harry and I are so happy to be spending our lives with you.


  1. I loved this post! So true and so well-said! (Now can you write one for me about the perks of having babies young so that I can show it to people who irritate me?) I'm really a little bummed that we didn't actually know each other all that well in high school because I have a sneaking suspicion we would have gotten along fabulously :)

  2. Haha, I totally agree! I've become "blog friends" with so many people from high school that I didn't know all that well, it's funny how that works out ;)

    I couldn't speak to the perks of having babies young (though it sounds wonderful) -- but I think sharing your blog with the offending people should shut them up, if for no other reason than how adorable your daughter is!