Tuesday, July 23

Two Roads Diverged.

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I remember first reading this poem in high school and falling in love -- with the cadence, the simplicity, and especially the subject. It captures the hesitation everyone must feel before they choose a particular course.

I made one of those choices this week.

After nearly three years in my current position, I am leaving. I plan on working again soon, but from home. The details are a little fuzzy right now, but whatever I do, I am going to fit the writing and marketing and getting-out-and-abouting around the care and keeping of Jack. I'm lucky, for now, to have my mom here and happy to hang with him from time to time while I work, but even with help, I know it will be a juggling act. And that's okay. It's worth it to me.

When the time arrived to turn in my notice, it was more bittersweet than I anticipated. Back when I was expecting, I hoped and prayed there would be a way for me to stay home. Then while I was on leave, I saw the good and not-so-good aspects of being at home all day, every day. But once I returned to work, downtown from 8 until 5, I was heartsick. Nothing felt right. 

There are many years ahead, but this time is short and precious. Just like my Jack. The path I've been on has taught me so much and helped me grow in many ways, but I'm taking a detour down a different road now. And I can't wait to experience all that lies ahead.

1 comment:

  1. Kudos to you for following your gut! I'm sure it was a really hard decision! One of the coolest and scariest parts about maternity leave and right after is that it provides a rare chance to stop and evaluate the course you are on and potentially change it. It's too hard to do in the day to day grind. I hope you figure out something that you love and gives you ample time for Jack!